Once upon a time

Hoping for the best.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but we're officially over. Yeap, he finally said it.

I.... honestly felt like breaking down when he said that but it's okay, I believe everything happens for a reason, right? Right. And I know Allah's fair and He knows best. I hope he'll take care of himself out there and get good grades for his Os, I'm gonna miss him for sure.

Effort.

Saw this post on tumblr yesterday and I think this is so true.

Effort is most important part in a relationship. A relationship without effort is like a car without gas. Useless and disappointing. The relationship won't grow if both parties don't put time into it. Relationships are a two way commitment. Helping each other out little by little. Bit by bit. Don't just let your significant other do all the work. Your companion will eventually get tired and weary because it's clear you don't give a damn shit. It's too late to realise when they already left. Don't make yourself regret and question why you didn't appreciate their effort. Try to put as much effort as you can to maintain your relationship when you guys are still together.

Giving up.

Yes, I'm giving up. I'm tired of expecting. I'm tired of trying to make things better between us. When you, you don't give a damn about us. Sometimes I wonder if you really want us. If you really want to keep us. Yes, but I bet there's no more us anymore. It's like I'm invisible. I feel invisible. Do I look like a ghost to you? Hello, I exist okay? And yeap, I exist only when you need something, right? I'm tired.

I just want to disappear.

I don't know, I feel like killing you. I feel like throwing you off a cliff then catch you. It's like you make me sad all the time but I still want you. But at the same time, I'm tired of all this shit. You changed, alot. And by alot, I mean ALOT. So drastically. I.. just don't know what do anymore.

I don't wanna ruin your day by talking you. I feel like I'm annoying you. I feel like you don't need me anymore. I feel like you don't love me anymore. And I wonder why am I fated to meet and fall in love with a jerk like you. It has been like this all time.Why can't guys stick to one and treat us, girls, right? Why do they have to treat us like dolls. We have feelings, too, you know?

Why.. Why do I have face this same old shit every year. Sometimes I just don't wanna fall in love. Guys are all the same. They got us, they treat us like shit, and then they leave us. Jerks. Why can't they just treat us right. Why. It's not that hard you know. It's not that hard to at least stay true and be loyal.

Sometimes I wish I could just self create my own lover boy. Like I can control him and make him stay loyal to me. Wouldn't that be awesome? Sometimes I wonder what I've done to deserve all this shits. Freaking shits. I stayed loyal to you, and this what I get?

There's so many boys out there who wants to make friends with me but no, I want to take care of your feelings, I think about you. I don't wanna hurt you. But instead, you, you, didn't appreciate it. You treated me like shit. Don't you know how much it hurts? Your facebook, your tumblr.. It freaking hurts. But I can't stop stalking you. Stupid me.

I just hope you'll let me go. I'm tired of this.

Syiqa, 15. I'm unpredictable.
And I wish I was pefect.